The high speed Houston car chase ended in a parking garage after one hour of pursuit by police over the span of 25 miles and two Houston counties. Although I didn't watch the Houston car chase, I watched the youtube video (check below). I was a little disappointed by the repeated FAILURE of Houston police to properly plant spike strips.

The Houston high speed car chase began as a routine traffic stop. When a Houston officer approached the vehicle, the suspect drove off. A pretty smart move, if you ask me.

No idea why they were chasing him though, maybe he was black...

Shameless Joe Jackson was an asshole at the 2009 BET Awards. In an interview with CNN, Joe Jackson (also known as Blue Eyes Jackson) answered questions about Michael Jackson's death without any emotion whatsoever. Instead, Joe Jackson promoted Ranch Records on the BET red carpet.

Shameless Joe Jackson needs to be seriously hurt for how little regard he has had for MJ's tragic death by heart attack. Screw Shameless Joe Jackson and Ranch Records!

This Youtuber (mikeyblogs2) says it all:

Michael Jackson, 50, died at noon on June 25th, 2009 of a heart attack, which pretty much stands for cardiac arrest. Paramedics attempted to resuscitate Jackson at his home in Los Angeles after he faced the heart attack, but Jackson was unresponsive. Michael Jackson was later taken to the UCLA Medical Center, where further resuscitation of Jackson failed.

Fans outside UCLA yelled at doctors, pleading them to bring Jackson back to life.

But the King of Pop is dead after perhaps a thriller day with an 8-year old. No, I'm kidding. But really, I think Michael Jackson died because his little heart couldn't keep up while he chased another little boy around his backyard theme park.

Personally, I'm glad Michael Jackson is dead.


SodaHead Graphics

BioArt International has cloned five German Shepherds from Trackr, a German Shepherd that helped firefighters find survivors of the 9/11 attack on the World Trade Center. Trackr was cloned after James Symington, his owner, won a Best Friends Again contest, which was held by BioArt International in California.

Five puppies were cloned from Trackr's DNA: Trust, Valor, Prodigy, Solace, and Deja Vu.

BioArt International's Best Friends Again contest was led by cloning specialist Hwang Woo-Suk of South Korea. No doubt, the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals has started badgering BioArt about its cloning, claiming that cloned animals can be afflicted with a multitude of health issues.

Kinda like any other animal...

Chinese police showed up frequently to Shanghai Pride events in China, where the Chinese gay community attempted to celebrate, well, their gay pride. It was just 12 years ago that homosexuality was decriminalized in China.

Although small events for Shanghai's Pride week were harassed by authorities, only the larger events were shut down. The Chinese government forced the cancellation of gay plays, a film festival, and a social mixer, while a gay pride parade was entirely out of the question.

But Shanghai Pride still had its moments of glory, including a "hot bod" competition and a drag karaoke performance.

Yay for the Asian gays!

Adam Lambert in drag pictures have surfaced after the American Idol runner-up came out in a Rolling Stones interview. I don't know why Lambert had to come out "officially," the pictures of him in drag and making out with guys in West Hollywood have always sort of been in the Google search.

But I guess since Lambert's made it official that he's a cock-hopper, people just have to start googling 'Adam Lambert in drag pictures.' Apparently coming out stories don't have enough entertainment value nowadays.

Yay for gay rights!


Please close your legs, Lambert.

New Hampshire is the sixth U.S. state to legalize gay marriage. Governor John Lynch hastily signed the legislation after it passed by the New Hampshire Legislation, stating that although he was an advocate for civil unions in the past, he now believes that a separate system is not fair.

John Lynch also gave the clergy leniency. Church officials are no longer obligated to perform at gay marriage ceremonies nor provide marriage counseling.

Kind of a double-edged sword if you ask me. On the one hand gays can get married, but on the other, the church is still permitted to outright discriminate against them.

Ah well, no one wants some smelly-ass child rapists leading their ceremonies any way!

God bless!

Over three thousand people rallied in Fresno and San Diego, California in support of Proposition 8. The rally was a thank you to the California Supreme Court, who have upheld a ban on same sex marriage.

To be honest, I'm a little shocked that people were actually rallied in San Diego, I always thought So-Cal was more liberal, while Nor-Cal was... well, where the bigots lived. Fresno, which is pretty much the Lubbock, Texas of California, is about as conservative as you can get. So that's no surprise that a bunch of greasy, obese fatties got up out of their couches to thank the Supreme Court for praising their traditional marriage -- and their some 60% divorce rates. *cough*

What I thought was REALLY weird though was that among all the pro-Proposition 8 attendees, Latinos and Blacks outnumbered Whites. You'd think that after so many years of segregation and ignorance, and stereotyping and all that shit they've been through, they'd be a little more open minded.

But nooo, God TOLD them to be bigots.

Here's something I'm not too ecstatic to report. Looks like the Twilight girls (and I guess a couple gay guys) are freaking out over some pictures of a shirtless Robert Pattinson. But wait, if I hate the news story, why am I reporting it?

Because I'm secretly in love with Edward Cullen?
Probably. Who isn't?

No but really, Kristen Stewart's pretty cute and she's in a couple pics. Still, I think she'd be better off with Jacob Black. I mean... I've never read Twilight.


What a ho.

The World Wildlife Fund -- who stole the WWF from the WWE -- have begun a violent "It all comes back to you" commercial series. Basically, what happens in the commercials is... well, you die. So far, only two WWF commercials have been released, but in each of them someone who purposely hurts the environment ends up dead, whether by having a tree fall on them or from getting shot by an arrow. WTF, WWF? Sorry, I like acronyms.

No but really, the World Wildlife Fund is taking it a bit far -- I mean, you want me to recycle or what, I die? Cool. I'll think about that the next time I take a shit in the middle of the street. I mean...

James Lovelock, writer by day, Matrix enthusiast by night, has written a disturbingly retarded book called "The Vanishing Face of Gaia: A Final Warning." Lovelock details how the filthy human race (that's us) is infecting the face of the planet much like how a virus attacks the immune system. James -- no relation to Jesse or Meowth from Pokemon -- also notes that the Earth will eventually kill off the human race with its greenhouse gases, and that if humans want to survive long enough to make fun of this stupid book, they should start preparing for intergalactic migration.

Unfortunately, James Lovelock forgot two very important things before sending this one out to the publishing house: For one, humans are an ambitious species and will kill themselves off before they ever let some pesky planet do the job, and second, Agent Smith already covered this theory and will now be suing for copyright infringement.


"Lovelock is an asshole."

The new drug czar for the Obama Administration, Gil Kerlikowske (how the hell do you pronounce that!?), says he wants to end the "war on drugs." Gil claims that the concept of a "war" makes drug users feel targeted by law enforcers, when really (and this is fun), the real idea behind drug restriction laws is to help people maintain healthy lifestyles. Honestly, it sounds like a bunch of hippie hoodoo to me -- personally, I'd like to see a couple more drug raids on the news and maybe hear about another Heath Ledger going to the gutter. Okay wait, that was mean. But really, if you're going to do drugs, you should be prepared to die. I mean, unless it's pot.

But hey, at least the addicts are getting cleans needles and potheads (me? noooo...) don't have to worry about clinics getting inspected by cops. Yay!

Hitler's dead. But thanks to an enthusiastic 42-year-old man that beheaded the Hitler wax sculpture on display in a German museum, the Nazi Killer is back in the news like it's 1921! And here I thought Adolf would remain stamped between the pages of my history book! Ah well, I guess with all the controversy the Madame Tussauds museum started with its announcement that Hitler would make a guest appearance among their wax concoctions, it was only time before someone went crazy and pointed out that the beheaded, wax Hitler is just 500 meters from a Holocaust memorial.

I'm going to have to take the 42-year-old's position and say that it's pretty messed up to have Hitler chilling in a German history museum. I guess you can have a little plaque for the psycho, but honestly, people don't want to be reminded of that sort of stuff, especially the Germans!

Keep in the past, I say, where it belongs.



Hitler DOES NOT approve of this message.

The first thing that caught my attention this morning was a blurb I read in a blog somewhere that Lindsay Lohan has a bun in the oven.
After a few laughs on the Lohan pregnancy, I went on about my business only to stop short of completely forgetting the story. The more I thought about it, the more depressed I became. This poor girl is a train wreck waiting to happen and it seems everyone around her is waiting for the fiery crash.

Britney Spears was very lucky to have someone who would not take no for an answer pull her out of her fits of self destruction. Her father, Jamie Spears, is the reason she's alive today. Unfortunately Lindsay Lohan has two fame whores for parents and free loading friends are just along for the ride.

Since Lindsay Lohan is all alone in her situation, she needs to be watched and watched closely.
There needs to be some sort of intervention on her behalf before she goes 51/50. If not the results could be deadly.

I'm glad I'm not famous. Sure the perks are great but who can take living life under a microscope. If you have a salad for lunch, people say you're a girly man. If you wear a leather jacket, you get dunked with paint courtesy Peta. What good are perks if you can't enjoy them in peace.

So this Twilight vampire actor, Robert Pattison, goes to a strip club to see some stripper twice in one week and preteens are going crazy. Should anyone really flip over a Robert Pattison Stripper story? I mean I haven't seen the movie but this dude looks like just another pretty boy chump to me. His fans are crying their eyes out! Like they ever had a chance.

I remember a rumor going around that Jackie Chan was getting married years ago. Women in China were literally committing suicide in droves over the news. Is that CRAZY or what? How can anyone live under the pressure of fame that huge.

To be honest, if Tinkerbell came down out genie land and gave me the option to live a rich and famous life, I would definitely consider it. Maybe if I gave up strippers it would work...

Alex Rodriquez (A-Rod) is back in the news now as new efforts from part-Nazi, part-Sports Illustrated reporter Selena Roberts take the form a BOOK. Selena Roberts was the reporter that brought A-Rod's steroid use to light. And now, in her book, Selena goes even further in defaming the victimized athlete.

Alex Rodriquez commented on Selena's book, saying, “I’m not going there. I’m just so excited about being back on the field playing baseball and hopefully coming back and helping my team win some more games.”

Honestly, A-Rod just did steroids. Big freaking deal, who hasn't? At any rate, it's not like he was raping little kids (Michael Jackson), starting dog-fighting rings (Michael Vick), or killing his wife (O.J.). I would put A-Rod on the same page as Michael Phelps. A little drugs never hurt anyone, right?

I get that A-Rod damaged the Rangers' reputation, but seriously, it's just baseball.

If there's anything that pisses me off more than anything it's hearing about animal cruelty, particularly with dogs. Michael Vick, that jackass who funded a dog-fighting ring and killed dogs that underperformed, has been released from prison to serve the final months of his sentence in house arrest.

Michael Vick started his illegal dog-fighting ring in Virginia in 2001. Dogs fought to the death or close to it. Losing dogs were killed by electrocution, drowning, hanging, or gunshots.

If it were up to me, I would have had Michael Vick hanged for doing what he did... or better yet, put him in a colosseum and pin him up against a freaking lion. I wouldn't mind him getting ripped apart. At the very least, I would give him life in prison. Now, I know some people don't care for dogs (or animals) the same, but consider the fact that dogs are defenseless and can be easily molded to the owner's content, and that puts Michael Vick on the same page as child abusers; he has corrupted and essentially (and in many case, literally) destroyed these creatures -- psychologically and physically.

To Hell with Michael Vick!

Thousands of New Yorkers incurred 9/11 deja vu after a low flying plane escorted by two Air Force jets flew towards ground zero in a test flight and photo op. The Boeing 747 is typically used by the president for travel.

The Federal Aviation Administration claims that the proper authorities were notified beforehand of the test flight. But um, you forgot a couple people. Like, the freaking common people!

I can't believe they would even consider flying a plane anywhere New York for a test flight, much less for a PHOTO OP. Didn't they think that New Yorkers would be scared out of their minds? 9/11 may have happened almost 8 years ago, but that does not mean people aren't going to shit a brick when they see a plane coming towards their office building!

Size doesn't matter, no, really. I read this awesome commentary by John DeVore about people's obsession with penis size. He says that it's more about men being self-conscious than anybody actually expecting them to have a third leg for a penis. Females commented on the article too, claiming that they didn't care for size as much as they did about performance. One lady said, "I dont judge a guy by his size, I judge performace [sic]. Kind of like a car... you know it may look nice, but how was the ride?"

But John DeVore doesn't ignore the fact that some women really are obsessed with mounting half-horse/half-men, just as some men are fatally attracted to massive XXL tits. DeVore states: "Perhaps women who bitterly obsess over Goliath tube and dudes who demand giant hoots deserve each other."

So men, don't you worry about your penises, and women, toss that padded bra!

The House Judiciary Committee is passing a federal hate-crimes legislation, adding sexual orientation and gender identity to the list of federally protected classes. The committee is being led by the Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act of 2009 and the example of Canada and the European Union, which protect homosexuals from anti-gay fanatics.

But Christian groups are revolting against the move, claiming that protecting gays and transsexuals will cause Christian groups to be targeted for their anti-gay messages. Well, for a religion that preaches love while shafting an entire demographic, they've kind of had it coming for a couple hundred years now. I can't wait for the news of priests and Churches being sued for their anti-gay preaching to start flooding in; the hypocrisy of the Christian church is overwhelming and it's about time we put them in their place.